his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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