But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
