What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
my shit smells like andre
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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