Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
