dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
