I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
