I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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