I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
