Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
