that's an acceptable place to lick
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
