i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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