i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I fill condoms, not promises.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
