i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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