I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize