That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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