Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
whose parrot is this?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
