Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
We need to rekindle our bromance
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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