my vag is so smooth its legendary
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
