THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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