Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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