Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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