Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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