He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
