Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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