I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize