she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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