My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
