Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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