he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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