BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
