dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
