I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
