This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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