Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
