we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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