3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
