2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
