Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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