i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
