How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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