vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
