Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
