we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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