I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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