Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
