it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
