there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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