so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Randomize