Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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