is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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