Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Boobs are out for the taking
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
