and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
