I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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