Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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