Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
