I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
