Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
